“Ministry is hard and lonely, but you don’t have to go it alone,” says Vincent Tauriello (coaching coordinator with Mission to North America). In October 2023, Vincent led a Coaching Foundations Training with a group of leaders in the Tennessee Valley Presbytery (pictured above).
In Vincent’s words, “A good coach is trained to come alongside rather than tell you how to do things. Ministry is demanding and exhausting, but a good coach is someone who’s in your corner but unbiased, who challenges you and holds you accountable in a gracious, non-judgemental way.”
The two-and-a-half day session trained nine participants how to be coaches. Vincent covered the mindset, skillset, and ethical standards needed in coaching, taught a coaching model and how to generate feedback, and the group practiced coaching each other.
After the retreat, they continued practicing with each other and with clients. Vincent led five online cohort meetings and gave each participant a mentor coaching session. In total, this was about 30 hours of training.
Two participants completed the entire training and earned a coaching certificate, but even those who do not yet have a certificate are able to apply the skills to their ministry, family, and other relationships.
Travis Vaughn (TVP Executive Director of Church Planting) invited Vincent to lead this training in an effort to stimulate a flourishing community by creating a healthy network and ecosystem of church planting. When explaining network dynamics, Travis cites Dr. Allen Thompson (co-author with Tim Keller of the Church Planting Manual) who provided this definition: “A church planting network is an intentional communication and relational structure that brings together leaders with a common vision to resource one another to fulfill the mission.”
Travis says, “We need a repository of trained coaches within the presbytery. We need coaching, just as the network needs assessment, training, peer coaching, trust, fellowship, healthy marriages, and a host of other ingredients.”
He explains that coaching helps leaders discern where the Holy Spirit is leading and navigate the particular challenges and stages in the life of a new church.
Vincent led this Coaching Foundations Training to train leaders to be coaches, but Travis and the presbytery would also like to see every church planter and spouse have a coach. Building the value of coaching in the presbytery and raising up more coaches is how we can accomplish this.
In Vincent’s words, “My goal is to raise the standard of coaching and raise the engagement with coaching in the PCA. Ministry leadership is the most under-resourced position. Whether or not leaders continue to grow and learn falls through the cracks, so the goal is for everyone in ministry leadership in the PCA to have access to a coach.”
He also believes that well-trained coaches will bless church members in addition to church leaders.
Now, what exactly is coaching, and how does it differ from counseling, mentoring, and other similar terms? Vincent explains that teaching is simply transferring knowledge; consulting is giving advice as an expert in a certain field; mentoring is sharing wisdom with someone because you’ve been where they are and done what they’re currently doing; and counseling provides emotional support to heal past wounds and/or manage current challenges.
Coaching, however, is partnering by asking thought-provoking questions that draw out and inspire the coachee. He says, “Coaching maximizes their potential for the glory of God. Proverbs 20:5 says, ‘The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.’”
While the International Coaching Federation sees the practical value and wisdom in coaching, it doesn’t bring this biblical view into coaching. However, Vincent, MNA, and TVP pursue coaching strategies that align with God’s design for human flourishing.
Rather than providing answers, coaches seek to facilitate conversation and help clients make meaningful discoveries for themselves. “Coaching is very forward moving and not so much about where you’ve been,” says Vincent. “It helps you figure out what you actually value rather than what you think you’re supposed to value.”
Vincent’s first experience being coached came after seminary when he went into church planting in the PCA. It was helpful but not earth-shattering. Years later, as he entered a sabbatical, a family friend wanted to coach a pastor and offered to coach him as a gift. He describes the experience as transformative because she asked helpful, insightful questions that drew him out, allowed him to hear his own thoughts, and helped him decide where to go from there. “I thought, ‘Where has this coaching been all my life?’ She was an outstanding listener.”
He became interested in raising up more coaches. After 25 years in ministry, he transitioned to coaching and training coaches in 2018 through his business, By Design Coaching. He now has more than 500 hours of training and 700 hours of experience. He holds certifications from the International Coach Federation and Global Team Coaching Institute.
Both Hutch and Ashleigh Garmany (who planted and continue to lead Grace Community Trenton) completed the coaching training. Ashleigh reflects, “For me, the training was most beneficial in considering the role of asking questions and bringing a curious posture to significant conversations with believers and unbelievers alike. Curiosity about another person allows the Holy Spirit to work in ways that coming as an expert to a conversation does not. I have used the principles and teaching from the training in all areas of ministry, parenting, and marriage.”
Hutch adds, “A huge takeaway from the training for me was the power of leading people to take ownership over their own decisions. In ministry, there is a great temptation to try to take responsibility for people, to give them answers, motivate them in their choices, and lead them in the right path. While all these can be good and helpful in their place, it often makes people dependent upon us as leaders rather than helping them grow in their personal dependence upon God.
“However, a crucial element of discipleship is helping people engage personally and directly with God. There is a power in discovery, and when people personally discover where God is leading and what He is revealing to them, there is far greater energy and commitment to that direction. Coaching is a powerful ministry tool for helping and empowering people to move forward in obedience to God.”
When asked about data that shows the value of coaching, Vincent noted anecdotal evidence showing that people remember what we discover for ourselves far better than what we memorize or have been told.
Also, research shows that a 50/50 split between time spent doing and time spent reflecting leads to much better retention than 90% doing and 10% reflecting. The 50/50 model is called the action-reflection cycle. It allows learning, development, and growth to be reapplied and deepened.
Vincent cites a 2020 global coaching study in which 80% of people who received coaching said their self-confidence increased. He explains that even though they had the same level of skill/technique as before being coached, they gained more confidence to do what they were called to do. Data shows improved work performance, relationships, communication, work-life balance, stress reduction, and interpersonal skills in coachees.
Coaching can be particularly helpful for those experiencing burnout. Vincent recalls one pastor who was quickly heading toward burnout. “He saw significant progress in his personal awareness of what all was contributing to burnout. He began to address his particular hangups and habits bit by bit. We really saw a turnaround in his work-life balance.”
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